Introducing the Now Page: For People Who Actually Do Stuff

(New to the site? Each post features a song which encapsulates the feelings I tried to convey in the post. Press play and if you like what you read and hear, consider subscribing to the RSS feed.)

My last post was well over a month ago.

For a little while, I was talking to my friends about shutting down the blog and turning the site back into a static homepage that detailed who I was and what I did.

The truth is, when you spend most of your time actually doing stuff instead of reflecting on it, very little writing gets done. You just don’t care.

Still, I like the freedom to be able to hop on here and talk about things, even if it happens less than once a month.

When your online identity is tied entirely to a website (and you use zero social media), it’s very easy to die…metaphorically or literally.

So, how do you let the world know that you’re not dead and things are still progressing in your life without making update posts no one cares about?

Simple. Join the /now page movement.

Before, if I hadn’t posted in a while, I would get a bunch of emails asking about how I’m doing. I’d always have to explain, “Things are progressing, I just haven’t been talking about them.”

Now, if I haven’t posted in a while, just take a look at

Even if I’m not writing a lot of blog posts, I will keep that updated.


From my  do-ers soul to your patient heart,

Radhika Morabia

“You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.”

(New to the site? Each post opens with a movie quote and then features a song which encapsulates the feelings I tried to convey in the post. Press play and if you like what you read and hear, consider subscribing to the RSS feed.)

My breath stops.

A bead of sweat rolls down my face.

My shoulders tense up.

I exit the tab and breathe in. I tell myself to relax. It’s going to be okay.

I was reading an article about ambition.

“Someone’s going to be the best. Why not you?”

Why not me?

Life had given me a few blows, but I am just as capable as anyone else of becoming the best.

I could be the greatest. I could move mountains. I could be the puppetmaster of a revolution that defined this era.

In fact, that’s how I defined my purpose for the better part of 2014.

After recovering from a chronic knee injury that left me in a near-fatal state of mental health, I saw two options moving forward–go on the path of security and stability, like I had planned before the injury, or take my newfound resilience and rule the whole world.

I believe there is no purpose to life, so why not become the best I can be? Why not be a bold influence of the direction that humanity takes? Why not have biographies written about my legacy?

Why not me?

I proceeded with this pursuit of greatness.

I trudged past obstacles with the tenacity and focus to end up surpassing every result I set out to achieve.

Every decision became about how it fit into my one-year plan, five-year plan, and fifty-year plan. I’m not exaggerating.

I developed a God Complex that stemmed from years and years of existential boredom.

I was 8 years old when I first asked what the meaning of life was. I was bored of school, friends, bullies, books, TV, and other day-to-day minutia. At 8 years old, I believed there was nothing left to experience, so why was I even alive?

I spent the following ten years creating bigger and bolder goals to try and fill that void of meaninglessness.

Everyone around me seemed to be fine with the concept of being alive, whether they were living a miserable life or a successful life. They were all so caught up in their problems or happiness that no one was asking about the bigger picture like I constantly was.

But, each time I looked for the bigger picture, all I saw was an endless void.

I threw myself into possibilities and planning. I tried to be religious, a sports star, a genre-shifting electronic musician, an influential novelist, a start-up techie, and finally, a marketer who was going to sway the whole world to my projects.

No matter how high I aimed, I was miserable. I was occasionally less miserable, but I still felt an overwhelming sense of agony.

If I reached for the moon, the moon was just a tiny part of our solar system. If I reached for the stars, our entire galaxy is just a miniscule part of our universe (which doesn’t even include the very real possibility of alternate and parallel universes).

I continued to hurt myself and other people just to have a reason to wake up in the morning.

After quitting my marketing business because I got bored, I decided to get a job at a marketing agency. I eventually hoped to start up my own agency.

I remember sitting in my car after a soul-sucking day of interviews. I was the only one wearing sneakers to all of these.

I was in a breezy parking lot next to a park full of tennis courts.

I watched as two men exited their black sports car and started walking towards the courts.

“Is this your weekly time? Do you take a regular break from work at this hour? Is this the only time of the week you feel truly free?” I thought to myself.

I began crying. I looked 10 years into the future. I would be running my marketing agency, and slowly, we’d be making our way up to working with huge, world-changing brands like Coca-Cola and Google.

I realized even that wasn’t very big. The only thing bigger was a Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg situation, both of which would still leave me feeling empty.

Before I could reach a conclusion about my current decisions, I went in for the next interview and aced it. The CEO said there was something different about me, and they needed different.

I never went in for the follow-up interview.

I didn’t understand… I went for the good option. I wasn’t settling for mediocrity. I was working hard towards things that mattered. People admired me!


Why was I still sad? Why was I still miserable? Why did I still feel horrible every single day?

Through some magic of self-awareness, I realized something.

There were only two things people I knew threw themselves into: work and family. I knew a long time ago that family didn’t matter to me at all, so I threw myself in work to find some purpose for being alive.

In this mindset, people only existed for your network, and health only existed to allow you to work harder.

That didn’t seem right…

What if I just did nothing?

In a world that defines human worth by productivity ($$ produced per hour), could I just make enough money to get by and do whatever I wanted the rest of the time?

What would I even do all day if my actions weren’t impacting some huge goal I had?

I didn’t know yet, but it had to be better than being confined to an office without windows, so I jumped.

I quit my job after 3 days and started saying yes to every request or thought that came my way.

Do you want to hang out? Yes.

Do you want to watch this movie? Yes.

Do you want to listen to music while you walk? Yes.

Do you want to take this trip? Yes.

Do you want to start writing again? YES.

As I started saying yes more and more, I found myself in an interesting state…

Good things began happening.

I quit a self-destructive habit that had been plaguing me for years.

I felt calmer as I was dealing with the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.

I have more friends than ever before, even though I still can’t drive.

I have tons of energy now, even thought I used to think I just wasn’t an energetic person.

I began writing regularly again (despite blindness), which you’re seeing right now!

I picked up a new hobby for no other reason than enjoyment. (Post about this coming soon.)

Here’s the best part: I’m 90% less existentially bored.

Instead of trying to rise higher and higher, deliberately staying on the ground and trying to enjoy everything the ground has to offer is amazing.

There’s so many cool little things here on the ground that you miss when you’re flying in the clouds at rocket speed. Movies, books, sitting around doing nothing, smiling at people, good hair days, handwritten letters, the beach, airports, the smell of morning dew, trees, closing your eyes and listening to music, deep conversations, compliments, ink on paper, and hitting publish.

That’s honestly just the start of it. I’ve been living the low-ambition lifestyle, also known as the “do whatever you want” life for a few months now, and a lot of good things have happened because of it. I might be talking about a few of those things in more detail in the future.

For now, thanks for reading! I’ve been trying to get this post out for quite a while now.

Radhika Morabia

P.S. Movie quote in the title is from Fight Club (1999). This movie will always be current.

BS Life Advice: Turn your limitations into strengths.

Turning your limitations into your strengths becomes a lot more complicated when your limitations begin to stack and you still walk around like you’re invincible.

I have so much to share, but the written word, which has pushed me through every limitation life has thrown at me, is now my bane.

To compensate, I’m available for phone calls (or Skype, you international people) again. Even if we’ve never spoken before, consider booking a call. I don’t bite.

Beethoven produced some of his greatest symphonies even after going deaf.

My entitled response to that is, “It’s easy when you’re an artist. Feeling the vibrations of the music is a totally different composing experience that allowed Beethoven to have a unique sound.

“I’m not an artist. I’m trying to make a living through writing. I could easily change professions, but what profession allows me to work from anywhere in the world on my own part-time hours without a steep learning curve and eye strain?”

I’ll probably end up powering through with writing, despite the fact that I am limited by time and strain. It fits with everything I want out of life. No alternative option will come up until I admit absolute defeat. I never seem to be able to plan that in advance.

“No survivors? Then where do the stories come from, I wonder?”

(New to the site? Each post opens with a movie quote and then features a song which encapsulates the feelings I tried to convey in the post. Press play and if you like what you read and hear, consider subscribing to the RSS feed.)

“Should we jump the fence?”

“Nah, I think we’re fine here…”

It was the 4th of July. (America Day, to all you international folks.)

Like everyone else in the northern Bay Area, we were going down to the Berkeley Marina to watch fireworks.

(Shh, don’t tell. I actually only went to see the fireworks because they were taking place at the beach. I’ll make any excuse to hang out at the beach at night.)

We got back from a day of adventuring around Berkeley with just enough time to grab some dinner at the dining hall and head down to the bus stop.

The next bus that was coming would take us straight to the Berkeley Marina in time to see the fireworks.

I pulled out my money and impatiently waited for the bus to arrive. When it finally did, it read “DROP-OFF ONLY.”

“What?! No. That’s our bus!” I yelled. It was packed with people trying to get to the same destination as us. That left no room for any of us at our stop.

My sister asked the driver when the next bus was coming. She was quite a bit calmer than I was. She knew about the 4th of July rush.

“There’s one right behind this one, heading to the same place,” the bus driver told us with confidence.

We waited five minutes.

Ten minutes…

No bus was coming.

We were losing our cushion of time to get to the Marina before the fireworks started.

“Let’s just get an Uber and ask if anyone here wants to split.”

Neither of us had Uber installed on our phones, so we wasted even more time praying to the T-Mobile gods to make the download go faster.

Just as we called the Uber to pick us up, my sister spotted her friend at the bus stop. “Hey! Are you guys going to the Marina, too? Do you want to split an Uber?”

They said sure, and I got introduced to some people who I’ll probably never see again. (Spending adventures with people who I’ll never see again is one of my favorite parts of adventuring. I know — I’m a little crazy.)

We waited for the Uber to reach us. We were confident again. The Uber could get us to the Marina with plenty of time to spare.

As we were watching the dot of the car get closer to us, my sister got a call.

“Um, where are you guys?” It was the Uber driver.

“We’re on [random street name], at the bus stop across from the American Apparel.”

The driver proceeded to tell us she wasn’t from around here. Great…

We watched the Uber map as the driver went in the totally opposite direction, and the bus we were originally waiting for came and went.

After eight agonizing minutes, she canceled the request. Thanks, random Uber driver!

We requested another and hopped in fast. We could still make it… probably.

As we got closer, the traffic got intense. The road you would normally take to reach the Marina was shut off, and we tried to take many lefts and rights to find some way in.

Everyone we came in contact with had the same goal. It was too much. As we started to hear the fireworks, we just asked to be dropped off. We’d probably do better on foot.

We followed the crowd and stood with a bunch of people on some random highway that was closed off for the fireworks. This wasn’t anywhere near the Marina. I couldn’t even see the ocean.

But, we could see the fireworks.

We settled into a spot with as clear of a view as possible. It was extremely cloudy that night, so most of the fireworks went up into the clouds. All we could see was the light spread across the sky.

Here was the process: Dark, cloudy, silence while it was drizzling. BOOM! Sudden flash of color! Rinse and repeat for 40 minutes.

No one knew how long this atrocious show would last.

“Should we jump the fence? If we ran across the field like the other people, maybe we could get a better view without the clouds.” My sister still had the adventure adrenaline running through her veins.

“Nah, I think we’re fine here.”

The fireworks show was nowhere near Disneyland material, that’s for sure. The climax skipped over blue fireworks entirely. All we could see was red and gold. It was unprofessional, boring, and it lasted way too long.

The destination never lives up to the hype the journey tells you it will be.

But that’s the real secret here… The adventure lies in the journey, not the destination.

Now, you may think I’m making some grand metaphor for life. I’m not.

Seriously, the next time you go on an adventure, remember to enjoy the journey while it lasts.

From my way-too-literal heart to your favorite song full of metaphors,

Radhika Morabia

P.S. Movie quote in the title is from Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003). A summer blockbuster done right.

“I mean, I got this theory about blowjobs. If you wanna hear it.”

(New to the site? Each post opens with a movie quote and then features a song which encapsulates the feelings I tried to convey in the post. Press play and if you like what you read and hear, consider subscribing to the RSS feed.)

hi there. it’s radhika morabia, coming at you live from the land without capital letters.

i’d like to take you on a little time travel trip to 2011. in the fancy world of blogs and the internet, this phenomenon called minimalism was at its peak.

there were a ton of educated white americans people throwing all of their stuff away, moving across the globe, and writing about it online.

they sold tales of romantic freedom and limitless adventure. “you can live my amazing life, too! just buy my $25 ebook.”

now, little radhika came into this very near the end and the downfall. she had just gotten injured, and people were finally talking about this life she had been dreaming of for the past 15 years! (15 years prior, radhika would’ve been in the womb. that was a funny. laugh.)

“stop consuming so much!” these people preached as they continued to push out the same post written 10 different ways.

i agreed, even as my RSS feed grew to nearly 200 feeds. (okay, most of that was because i had nothing to do but homework, but still.)

each time one of these anti-consumerists released a book, i swooned. “the secret to life, meaning, and happiness is in there!! but i don’t have $25.”

i even searched illegal torrenting sites for hours to find these books, but to no avail.

eventually, it died down…

people realized there was only so much bs you could say about simple living, and now only a few of these scam artists anti-materialists still make a living from these blogs of yore. most have expanded into other topics (like personal development) and built courses instead of writing ebooks.

i now hate the movement. more than that, i hate the name. it isn’t a novel idea. read anything from eastern religions. you can even read western stoicism. this has all been around for thousands of years, long before “information overload.” (which is another load of bs, btw.)

but hey, it wasn’t that bad. during that time, i found some of my favorite writers who i’ve now been reading for years. (looking at you raam, fabian, and colin.)

then, in 2012… something else cropped up.

a bunch of 20-something white guys people were selling the dream of working from your laptop on exotic beaches. “four hour work week,” they preached, while tim ferriss groaned internally.

a lot of people thought that they could shortcut their way to location independence by telling other people how to be digital nomads while in fact, they were just living in their parents’ basement. “if i only sold 5 units of my $199 video course, i could finally afford that plane ticket to thailand!”

you know what happens next. they attract a big audience and maybe even sell a few courses. but it all crashes down, and people start to see through the fake and only listen to people who really know what they’re talking about.

just like before, a few good people came out of this. (looking at you niall, taylor, and dan & ian.)

but, here’s what always rubbed me the wrong way: the way these people sustained their dream lifestyle was by selling the dream to people who weren’t yet living it.

which in turn tells people the only way to live a dream lifestyle is to sell it to other people — a market bubble that becomes very limited very fast.

this also happens in the internet marketing realm, the fitness realm, the dating realm, and many other realms i don’t know a thing about.

it’s this big, legitimate ponzi scheme.

bleeeeeeeeeech. (& this doesn’t even include the disgusting parts of the web that make me want to crawl into a corner and cry. i’ll share my thoughts on those things someday.)

here’s where it gets worse…

i feel like i was a part of that when i ran as a self-development blog for over a year.

i wasn’t selling anything, i was just sharing my thoughts. yet, i felt like a fraud. i’m not anywhere close to the optimal human being, neither do i have a fancy human psychology degree — i was just talking about my experiences as if it was a universal truth. yeah, not my best decision…

i don’t regret what i did, but i am glad i shut that blog down.

today, i was trying to edit a post about an adventure i had over the july 4th weekend. i quickly glanced at my website and remembered that my sidebar copy for joining my newsletter is “Join the movement in support of doing whatever you want.” (note to self: CHANGE THAT.)

and it hit me. “oh my god, am i a fraud selling the dream again? am i going to sell ebooks about how to do whatever you want? am i going to overload people’s inboxes with the same post rewritten in 10 different ways? OH MY GOD, AM I GOING TO SELL A 3-PART VIDEO COURSE ABOUT HOW TO DO THE TRIPOD OF STABILITY WHICH ALLOWS ME TO LIVE MY LIFE?”

breathe, radhika.

it’s all good.

to clear my conscience and make myself publicly accountable, i’d like to state the sole purpose of this blog: i’m just trying to document my journey, mature my thought process, and meet new friends.

i try to live as generously as possible. i think everyone i’ve met from writing on is a gift. i think the fact that you’re reading this right now is a gift.

it’s still crazy to me that so many people are reading this and sending me emails and keeping up with me even as i’ve done a horrible job of keeping up with all of you. thank you all.

so, if anyone ever asks for any help with anything, i’ll always do my best to provide that for free. if enough people ask for something, and none of them are following through with my generosity, i won’t hesitate to package that into something bigger and paid. i value my time and people value things they pay for. it’s a win-win.

you’ll also be seeing a “Hire Me” page on the blog soon. that’s just me stating the fact that i am a copywriter now. it’s just a page for me to redirect people who heard about me through word-of-mouth, or for any of you who do biz online and need that kind of stuff. consider hiring me, if you think i’m good at this writing stuff. (i promise i know how to capitalize letters.)

but you’ll never see me selling the dream to fund my dream of living a life where i’m excited to wake up every morning and tell you all about the adventures i’ve had and the little things i’ve discovered along the way.

you want to know what would be my ideal monetary goal for this blog? $100 a month. that’s right. a measly $100 a month. that would cover my domain & hosting, and would allow me to hire an editor who would automagically (not a typo) format and publish my writing to my newsletter and blog. that would make this blog entirely funded by the readers and would allow me to write all i want without worrying about the hassles of wordpress & mailchimp. that would be amazing. i would be living the dream.

(psst! if you want to help me reach my crazy dreams of hiring an editor, i actually don’t have any methods of sending me money right now. stay tuned. but in the meantime, you can buy me books i’m currently too blind to read.)

i’m writing for myself, so i don’t lose the memories and i have a more clear understanding of who i am. i’m publishing it online for my friends who for some reason enjoy opening my emails and keeping up with my life (you know who you are). anyone else who wants to ride along is welcome.

i try so hard to live my life with integrity and generosity. every single day.

i get really scared that i’m pseudo, or that i’m a charlatan, or that i’m fake.

& it’s hard. it’s really hard to keep being open as everyone tells you that being open leads to getting hurt.

but, i want to live in a world where people like me exist. (wow, that’s self-love if i’ve ever seen it.)

and writing this is just a signaling beacon to anyone like me.

if you’ve read this whole thing and we haven’t talked yet… bruh. email me now. let’s be best friends.

if the whole time you were reading this, you’ve thought, “oh my god, [friend name here] would totally love this,” please send this to them. we’re probably the same brand of crazy, and it would be a shame if we never met. here’s a convenient & easy-to-remember link for you:

this post was an experiment! we’ll see how it goes.

from my SoCal heat to your… i don’t know where you live, so this line doesn’t work,

Radhika Morabia

P.S. Movie quote in the title is from Bachelorette (2012). I don’t even know what to say about the movie. Watch it for the cast.